Figure It Out!

Not too long ago, we had a young couple and their two kids stay with us. On Saturday morning, as the dad and I were sitting at the breakfast table, we suddenly heard a desperate plea, beckoning from upstairs.

“Dad! Dad! I don’t know how to get this to work!” It was their 7-year-old son, Thomas, trying to start a game system.

The scene was all too familiar to me. It seemed like not too long ago that my own children had shouted their very own panicked cries of “Help!” when they couldn’t get a shoe tied, a jacket zipped, or a bit of homework completed. In that moment, as young Thomas struggled to start his video game, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own parenting and how I stepped in to solve my kids’ problems. To be honest, more often than not, I jumped in too quickly. When it came to letting my kids “figure it out,” I was average at best. If we were passing out grades, I’d have earned a C. Conversely, my mom scored an A+. 

What kind of parent are/were you?

How about what kind of boss are you? Do you let your team figure stuff out? Do you let them struggle? Do you let them fail?

Marshall Goldsmith tells the story of a CEO who asked himself “Is it worth it?” before he interjected his thoughts into a conversation. (By the way, this took some discipline!) For 50% of the time, he said, the answer was “No” and he didn’t speak even if he knew the right answer. Could you do that? Could you sit on your hands and bite your tongue, even if you knew your team was headed in the wrong direction?

Why is this so hard for leaders to do? Why do many leaders never allow their employees, team members, or partners to figure it out?  I know of two main reasons:

• They want to make sure the answer is right.  It’s tough to watch someone screw up.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_zknCszY58  In my experience, it doesn’t really matter the size of the issue, it’s usually the personality of the manager that determines whether they want to step in.  Many managers just can’t stand by and watch a mistake being made, no matter how small it is.
• It’s quicker and simpler to do it themselves.  Why is it that kids always want to pack their own suitcases when they go on trips and moms never want to let them? Because the kid would spend 6 hours packing and end up with 3 pairs of shorts, a bathing suit top, mismatched socks, and 11 crayons.  Mom knows this and subtly says, “I’ll just pack for everybody.”

Right about now, you may very well be saying, “So what?” So what if I stop my team from making mistakes? So what if I jump in to avoid missteps? I really do know the right answer. I really do know how to pack the suitcase. Shouldn’t I just do it?

To put it simply, NO. Here’s why…

• It develops them.  A friend of mine often says, "If someone can do a job 70% as well as you can, you should let them do it." As leaders we have to realize that sometimes good enough is good enough. This is especially true when the end result is valuable experience. Learning through experience is a vital and necessary aspect of work and life growth. There are some things you simply only learn by doing. 

Inc. Magazine points out that millennials in particular are in need of development and to develop them, you must give them real-life experience. Experience creates better, more responsible and capable adults and employees. Period.

• It strengthens your organization. Years ago I had a CEO client who was managing two senior vice presidents with opposite skill sets—one was great with the customer and one was great with the finances.  During a season of transition, my client required them to meet regularly and cross-pollinate.  The process taught them how to work together, appreciate each other, and present a unified front internally and externally. Today, the company is much stronger because these two leaders had to figure it out.
• It lets you focus on more important things. I’ve written elsewhere that most senior leaders only have five tasks that are uniquely theirs. Resisting the urge to jump in and be the solver, the fixer, the rescuer keeps you in your swim lane to do the things that you must do. 

The trick is providing enough guidance to keep those you are leading on target and enough motivation to keep them persevering through setbacks. If an employee comes to you with a question, give them some hints at how to find the solution (“Have you talked to _____________?” “How does this compare to what we ran into last year?”  “The key is that we figure out how to measure ____________________,” etc.). Don’t just give them the answer.

Then, make sure you build a culture where hardworking, honest mistakes are praised. 

Sure, there are lots of situations where you need to step in and give the solution—situations where the stakes are especially high or the precedent needs to be set.  Just remember though, when you allow employees to figure things out, with real consequences and real rewards, there will always be real learning.