The 4 Marks of a Remarkable Coach

Coaching is about intentionality, not titles. Mr. Cherry taught me that.

When I was a kid growing up along the Mississippi Gulf Coast, Mr. Cherry was my best lawn-mowing client. He wasn’t just a paying customer, though; he slid into the role of my personal coach. He taught me all kinds of lessons about life and work while exercising my muscles for free enterprise and building up my self-image.

Nearly a half century later, coaching is a corporate buzzword. There are over 50,000 executive coaches in the U.S. and more than 40% of Fortune 500 companies use coaching. It’s easily a billion-dollar industry, and according to Harvard Business Review, the top coaches can earn thousands of dollars per hour.

People are starving for wise counsel and useful strategy.

Related terms and professions include team coaching, business coaching, life coaching, counseling, training, psychology, discipling, and mentoring.

From the boardroom to the ball field, the minivan to the management meeting, coaches are at work. Through in-person, on Zoom, or exchanging emails, the practice of coaching is happening.

You may be one of them. If you aim to influence with a relationship, then you’re coaching. 

So how do you do it well?

In my experience, after decades of building an executive coaching practice, I’ve found that remarkable coaches always provide four things—outside perspective, energizing hope, useful strategy, and measured accountability. And that applies whether it is paid or free, formal or informal.

Outside Perspective

In Moneyball, Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane (played by Brad Pitt) knew he needed a different angle to have any chance for his team to win baseball games. So he went way outside the box and challenged conventional thinking with his solution to build the roster for the struggling Oakland A’s. Watch it here. 

We need help getting beyond our own life context. We all have a limited view, even blind spots in some areas, so we need someone who has experienced the path ahead of us. We need people in our lives who don’t have a personal agenda toward us, but who are willing to bring a thoughtful point of view to our situations.

Sure, there is value in processing with those already inside your circle, but there are times when it’s helpful to have someone from the outside with a fresh set of eyes.

Energizing Hope

This clip is from one of my favorite comedies, What About Bob?

Richard Dreyfus’s character, Dr. Leo Marvin (you’ll recognize him by the hat and the white socks pulled tight over his calves) is a psychiatrist working with Bob Wiley. Notice what Bob says: “You’ve given me a great gift—the gift of life.”

Life is tough. Challenging. Demanding. Complicated. Stressful. And very often, unfair and unforgiving.

I’ve yet to meet anyone, no matter how successful, who is immune to the pressures of life. We all get tired and run out of optimism and hope. We all need someone who believes in us and pours courage into our souls with “I think you can achieve this” or “I think this is going to work out.”

Who refuels your tank? Whose tank are you refueling?

Useful Strategy

We need help that really works, not just in theory but also in the very real world in which we live. A great coach sorts and sifts through the noise, clutter, and moving parts of life, providing a course of direction.

Not all strategy is useful and not all wisdom really fits my world and me. We can call this contextualization. We can call it customization. Regardless of the label, it is the difference between mountains and molehills if the information doesn’t connect to the center of my situation and need.

Whether facing a personal issue or a professional challenge, the best coach is one who is able to bring useful, actionable help to the situation. 

Measured Accountability

We all need a compelling vision pulling us forward in life and work, but we also need signposts along the way to ensure we’re even on the right path.

At times a good coach has to lean in with unsettling questions. They have to ask the hard question that holds the integrity of the relationship and the engagement in place. But it must be measured. Picking the right thing to say, in the right way, at the right time is the key.

Conclusion

Coaching is an activity that is happening everywhere in all kinds of situations.

If you have a formal platform (manager, boss, pastor, educator, parent of older children, etc.), then dial up the intentionality. Look for ways to dispense outside perspective, energizing hope, useful strategy, and measured accountability.

Play the role of a coach, whether you have the title or not.